Simian

Bus drivers in London tend to be a little surly. I always greet the bus driver when boarding, but rarely get any acknowledgement back. To be fair, if I was driving the general public around all day, I would probably struggle to be cheery. Surely the moments when passengers are friendly to you would be worthy of at least acknowlegement. Their usual surliness made the comment I got from a bus driver the other night all the more unusual. As the bus approached in the distance I held my arm out to flag it down. As I swiped my Oyster card, the bus driver grinned slightly maniacally and said "I could see your long arm from a mile away." I politely chuckled and went to sit down. That was the first time in 29 years that my apparently freakish arm length has been commented on... All those arm stretching excercises are paying off.

And the other topic I wanted to brush on today was wiping. I have had conversations previously about styles - do you stand up or sit down to wipe? It seems to be a fairly devisive subject. For me, it has to be sitting. I don't believe you can get a good clean without it... But it is not the sitting/standing debate I want to break wide open... As well as my freakishly long arms I am seemingly a freak in the bathroom. I don't remember how the conversation came up (I had been drinking, which probably explains a lot), but we got on to the number of wipes used. Unless it is a very good day, I am at least 10, probably with an average wipe of about 13 or 14. The person I started the conversation with was a 3 or a 4 wipe man. This seemed impossibly low to me. How could it possibly be clean after that? So I threw the conversation open to a wider audience and the consensus amongst the other people there also seemed to be that a low number of wipes was the norm... What is so different about my technique? Am I doing it wrong? Does everyone else just have very pooey bottoms? Are my arms too long to be used effectively? I want answers...